I've never walked a tightrope.

I have, though, walked on a balance beam (totally the same…right?)

And I drive a vehicle.

“Oh, great, Shar... what does this have to do with anxiety?” One may say…

Well… I don’t know about you, but I know that for all of my clients, the anxiety gets activated in moments of risk. Like driving, walking on a balance beam, going into a shop with a lot of people, worrying about what people are thinking, taking a test, worrying about finances, feeling fear when leaving the house… the list goes on. The commonality with these things is that for the individual, there is risk involved with the activities.

When we engage in an activity we perceive as a risk, we tend to be hypervigilant to reduce the threat of harm.

Now, going back to the example about the beam and car…If you've walked on a balance beam or driven a car, what are you tempted to do?

We are often tempted to look down to what is directly in front of us when something is new, scary, or carries some level of risk (metaphorically or literally).

Like looking down to the beam to see where our feet are, or looking to right in front the hood of our car.

Our main goal in these activities is to prevent a collision or falling. Which is why we are tempted to look down. We are often fearful of the risk and we try to control the situation by looking down to our feet, or to the road right in front of us.

When we are hurting, anxious, stressed, bitter, or resentful, we are often tempted to look at the situation we are in and focus on it.

We look down, metaphorically speaking.

And so many times, we get stuck there.

Now... what happens when we raise our eyes a little?

When you're on the beam, we end up focusing on the end of the beam. When we are driving, we focus on looking at the road ahead.

And we trust.

We trust our peripheral vision to watch our feet while simultaneously watching the endpoint.

We trust in the power within ourselves to correct, to balance, and to see the road/beam ahead.

When I was 13 I was in driving school and my instructor taught me to look up when I drive so that I see the road and cars ahead, while also seeing the road in front of me. I remember fearing my ability to trust my mind and vision to focus on both, and my instructor kept saying:

Shoulders back.

Head up.

Trust your instincts.

I am also the least coordinated person I have ever met. Me on a balance beam? That's a sight to behold... but when I was teaching my daughter, I remembered those words.

Head up.

Shoulders back.

Trust your instincts.

And I didn't fall. Me... who broke my ankle by falling up one stair years ago...

I. Didn't. Fall.

You see... our circumstances and symptoms often have us looking and focusing on them. We see where we are and can't see a way out.

Look up.

What else would you see?

Imagine with me for a moment... if you were feeling the best you have ever felt in your life…

What would you be doing?
What would you be thinking about yourself?
How would you handle stress?

Now... imagine that healed, healthy human was to talk to you...

What would they say?

Would they say focus on where you are?

Or would they say to look up?

Listen, I don't want you to misunderstand me. We don't ignore our shit. When we listen to our bodies when they are whispering, they don't have to scream at us.

When I'm driving, I don't stare at the sky.

When I'm on a beam, I don't look up at the ceiling.

When we look at healing, yes we recognize our thoughts and emotions where are right now, and we also see where we want to go.

Where do you want to go?

Let's get there together. I needed my therapist to help me look up many times in my life. There's no shame in that. Our thoughts in our heads are powerful, so we need to get them out.

Look up.

Shoulders back.

Head up.

Breathe.

You're not in this alone.

You have the strength to do it by yourself a lot of the time, but you don't have to.

Let a therapist help you Bloom and see the horizon again.

Sharla(2).png — Hi, I’m Sharla.

I’m a Registered Social Worker who specializes in working with women to heal anxiety and all the fun it brings to the party, ADHD struggles, disordered eating, shame, and trauma.
I founded Bloom Narratives, a private practice that provides holistic wellness services.
Why? So you can be a game-changer in your life. Because healing people heal people.